I’ve always been the quiet type of kid. No, I was never the loner but always the girl that stuck to 1-2 close friends and did some drawing in the back of the classroom. Even today, I prefer doing calm activities like writing or having a deep conversation with a friend, instead of pursuing some wild adventures.
It took me years to accept my introverted nature because the cool kids were always the extroverted ones. People have a lot of assumptions about introverts. They think we are shy, judgmental, and don’t like company. But actually, we just need more time alone to recharge their batteries.
When I became a believer, I thought that a Christian has to be very communicative, extroverted, and always be smiling. I tried to be a super-Christian (or my perception thereof) for a while. At that time, I entered into a new class after my apprenticeship. I made the decision to behave like an extrovert. I tried to be friends with all of my classmates, instead of the 1-2 girls I usually seek out. Always smiling and connecting with everyone became my new identity.
It was super exhausting!! 😂😂 But to be honest with you, I didn’t know any better. Yes, I felt fake every morning I went to school. But I thought a Christian is supposed to do this and that I had to ‚train‘ myself to be that way. God revealed to me that what I was doing was wrong.
I was ashamed of my personality. The thing about shame is that it causes us to wear a mask. We pretend to be ‚more‘ and ‚better‘ than who we believe we really are. Shame tells us the lie that we need to please people. We think we need to behave a certain way in order for others to like us.
While we’re trying to live by the opinion of people, we miss the things God wants us to do. But the Gospel teaches us that we’re set free from shame. How can we embrace this freedom?
By letting the Holy Spirit transform the way we think.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2
By knowing that God loves us.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
By taking our new life in Christ, knowing that we’re a completely new creature.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2. Corinthians 5:17
By realizing that what God says about us is the only opinion that has eternal value.
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Psalm 139:13-14
By not hiding our insecurities, but letting God bring them to light.
But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, Ephesians 5:13
By confessing our sins and receiving forgiveness.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1. John 1:9
By letting go of people-pleasing.
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10
By becoming the person, we were always meant to be.
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24
Around 5 years passed since I gave up behaving like an extrovert. But today, I embrace my quiet nature. God healed my heart. I see how wonderful he made me and I’m living out my strengths and the gifts he has given me. It was a process but today, I don’t need to try being somebody else anymore.
Insecurities come in many shapes. Being the quiet one in a world where loud voices get more attention, was one of my biggest insecurities. All of us struggle with feelings of inferiority at times. But the good news is that God wants to heal our hearts.
Whatever you’re struggling with, surrender it to God and let him help you. Change always comes with a process: Let go of what he’s telling you to let go of. Forgive where he’s telling you to forgive. Follow his lead and obey. Embrace the work God wants to do in your heart and you’ll find yourself on the road to the freedom Christ died for you to have: Because full freedom in Christ is already available.
Read more:
10 prayers to overcome insecurities
9 tips to overcome envy and jealousy
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2 replies on “Overcoming shame as a Christian introvert”
I am so thankful I found your blog! I am a HSP and an artist. I was feeling shame and low today so I searched for “Jesus and highly sensitive person” and found you. I am quiet and my visual art is quiet (but intense) as well. This post was a good reminder not create differently than I am. I know my art doesn’t fall into an “eye catching=good” Instagram society or have a digital online flashiness. It takes a long look to see what I’ve done but it blesses those that take the time. And that’s okay because God created me this way. Thanks again. I love reading your blog and seeing God’s love and truth pour out!
Hi Brittany. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I love that you can see your art and creativity in a new way. It truly is a gift from God. 😊 God bless you and your work 💕