A friend of mine told me that her mother envied people who met Jesus later in life. If you didn’t grow up as a believer, you would have a story to tell, she explained. I didn’t know what to make of that statement. I didn’t grow up in church, so I can tell a story of how God met me and changed my life.
However, I can’t deny that there is some envy in my heart towards the people who have been raised in the church. My husband, for example, is deeply rooted in Jesus and has an amazing trust in God. I, on the other hand, have been working out this inner steadfastness in God with much prayer.
I’m infinitely grateful for my parents as well as Christ and his love and power that is at work in me and through me. I am aware that everyone, even Christians from good backgrounds, have to work through their past. But still, I consider it a privilege to not even know a life without Jesus. Friends sometimes tell me about Christian camps and all the great friendships they have had since childhood. I hear about colorful Sundays in the children’s service and exciting events with the church community.
That’s what envy does in our hearts: imagining the lives of others to be much prettier than they probably really are. Of course, there are problems in every family and church, and the childhood experiences of Christians vary widely.
But still: Jesus has always been there – deep in their hearts. They never faced challenges alone but were assured that Jesus was with them, and memorized worship songs and Bible verses that affirmed this truth.
I learned much later that Jesus was also close to me in my childhood. At that time I didn’t have a personal relationship with him. He revealed it to me on a path of inner healing, that he was with me in every moment. Even though I didn’t know him and therefore didn’t have a relationship with him, he was there. It is a truth that I can only carry in my heart today because Jesus reinterpreted my childhood in his light.
With this glimpse into my personal life journey, I want to encourage all of you who grew up as believers to be grateful for this incredibly beautiful gift. In addition, I would also like to say that it is okay and healthy for you to search for your own personal faith in Christ. It is okay to part with certain ideas about God that you took from your parents’ home, to ask new questions and pursue the answers, and to seek and find God for yourself.
To all of you who came to faith later in life, I also encourage gratitude. You know both ways to live: With and without Jesus. How much better it is with him! I would like to recommend you deal with your past and family history. Jesus sees a lot of possibilities to free you from unhealthy bonds and lead you into the full freedom he has for you. And I am convinced that you will be able to reinterpret past events in a new light, namely in the light of Christ’s presence.
I hope that my children will one day consider it a gift that they grew up in church. It is an enormous privilege and responsibility to teach them to walk the path of love and reconciliation with other people, themselves, and God. I wish that they will remember moments in which the presence and help of Jesus Christ were repeatedly assured to them. I hope that they’ll carry a lot of memories in their hearts of faithful friends who supported them and the church which blessed them. But most of all, I pray that Jesus would meet them personally and reveal himself to them so that they could enter into a personal, loving relationship with him.
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