Society tells us the more we do, the better; visit this social gathering, go to that networking event, and just be busy.
Staying home to read? Boring!
What if you tell your coworkers that you can’t hang out with them after work because you need time for yourself? Impolite!
What if you leave the birthday party of your friend early because you had enough stimuli for the week? Rude!
What if you don’t stay for after church activities? Uninvolved!
Yes, sometimes it hurts. Being misunderstood is one of the hardest things about being a highly sensitive person (HSP).
Our culture tells us that being competitive, having a loud voice, and demanding personality is necessary to be successful. Being empathic and conscientious are not likely to carry social value. Individualism and an outward display of strength are prevalent in our society.
As a HSP you’re probably familiar with statements like these:
‚You’re too emotional‘
‚You’re overreacting‘
‚Toughen up‘
‚You take things too personally‘
‚You wear your heart on your sleeve.‘
People may have been impatient and judgmental towards you making you feel ‚wrong‘ while conveying the subtle message that you need to change in order to fit in. Feelings misunderstood and a sense of not belonging have probably taken root in your heart.
As a Christian HSP you might think God made a mistake when he created you.
But you know what? There’s NOTHING wrong with you. Being highly sensitive is not an illness, but a natural trait found in 15-20% of the population. You’re as sensitive as God wanted you to be. If people make you feel inadequate, they just don’t understand who God created you to be. They don’t share in the same traits and gift that you received.
Lay down the lies that have been spoken over you and believe the one and only truth, that you’ve been fearfully and wonderfully made:
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:14
When God made you, he had a purpose in mind.
Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8
God created us to be his image bearers (Genesis 1:26).
Highly Sensitive People have a natural longing to feel understood. Bring this need before God and know that he understands you. Find safety in him knowing that he’s your refuge and your fortress (Psalm 91:2). Acknowledge the hurt that comes with the feeling of being misunderstood and give it to God to heal your heart.
HSP value deep connections and authentic relationships. Where could you better find friends with similar values than at church? Many times God works through other people to heal your heart and make you realize what an amazing person he created you to be. Pray that God surrounds you with the right people, whether they are HSP or not. Ask him to show you who to spend more time with and to lead you into a healthy community. (Post: 10 prayers for godly friendships)
God wants to heal your heart, renew your thinking, and help you realize who you are in Christ.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2
Let God help you saying goodbye to people-pleasing and societies’ way of doing things (Galatians 1:10). See being a HSP as an opportunity to fully walk towards what God has for you. Don’t be held back by the world’s standards but ask God about His plans for your life.
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Overcoming shame as a Christian introvert
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19 replies on “Feeling misunderstood as a Highly Sensitive Christian”
Many thanks for this piece. Am a highly sensitive person. I do not regret being one. This write-up will go a long way in helping me live my daily life regardless of people’s perception or notion. Remain blessed!
Thank you so much for your comment! I’m glad that my post helped you and that you don’t regret being a highly sensitive person. Keep that attitude 🥰
This is so me !! kinda emotional person,but people made me feel that im weak .But Thank you so much mam, your post makes me realise that This is exactly how God wants me to be. And I’m perfect in me .And my emotions are strongest reason that I’m emotionally connected with God …Thank you so so much for such beautiful message .
This is so me !! People used to say that I’m weak as im highly emotional. But your post makes me realise that this is how exactly God wsnts me to be and I’m perfect in me .Thank you so so much for such beautiful message 💖
Hi Rebecca. I’m so happy that my post helps you!! God surely wanted you to be that way 🥰
I fought against being a sensitive person for so long but recently I decided to be me and hasn’t been easy. Thank you for the wonderful word that I will always come back to whenever I face something that makes me feel like I should be ashamed of myself
I’m so happy that you accepted your sensitive nature. For me it was the same, I fought against it and a few years ago I decided to accept it. And I don’t regret my decision at all!
Good evening Madeleine!
I read your text several times because I still have some resistance to my highly sensitive personality. Even so, I am amazed by this new perspective. That God wanted me to be like this. Thank you for helping me and inspiring me to seek more from the Lord. God bless. 🙌🙏🌲
Thank you so much for your comment. I totally understand the resistance you’re experiencing. I took me years to accept my highly sensitive nature. But I’m glad my post helped you 🙂
My husband thinks that I am clinically depressed. I know I am not. I feel so deeply other people’s sorrow, confusion, anxiety and pain. Also their happiness, joy and excitement. I wish he understood, I’m not depressed.
I want to learn how to use my gift to glorify God. That is my current goal.
Thank you for this article. It has provided validation and given me motivation to seek out guidance through God’s word.
Hi Jill. I’m sorry to hear that your husband doesn’t understand your highly sensitive nature. I hope and pray that he recognizes your trait and starts seeing it as a gift.
I was in a group of 21 ladies. Was invited to a Bible study from a friend. I wasn’t going to go but was nudge to go so I did. I was so happy, we sang a few gospel songs. Afterwards we started discussing the topic of our chapter. After a few spoke, a lady said she yells at God. I felt a rush like a huge wave just hit me and majority of women were angry, a select few were concerned and loving. I left there shaking and trembling for days, I cried out to God to help me, he did. A week later I saw a vision. I was alone during the day and walking into the kitchen. Then I saw nothing but this vision, it was so real every detail as if I was there. Paul was sent on a mission to preach but he was upset and Jesus stood in his path and said, you have anger in your heart. Then God gave me a verse it said something like this…when you have anger in your heart don’t preach. I knew it was attached to the ladies at Bible study. Then I was told to deliver the message, I didn’t want too I knew I was going to be rejected. I had to deliver the message, I knew it was from God. I could hear him clearly, I feared God more than mankind. I used to wear reading glasses, my eyes were getting so bad. The day after I delivered the message, God restored my vision. I no longer need reading glasses. GOD IS SOOO GOOD, I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HIM! IN Jesus name, Amen. PS, I went back a few more times but it was just too uncomfortable and unbearable. I knew I was disliked.
Thank you for posting this, it’s very helpful. I spend most my days alone, but I’m not I have GOD
Thanks for sharing your testimony 🙂
I feel this to my core. But how can I accept this as a gift and use it for the kingdom without appearing weak?
First of all, I’d ask you how you define weakness and strength? You don’t want to appear weak – so what is weakness? I don’t think being sensitive is a weakness, it can be a great strength when you’re empathic with other people, for example. Consider your overall personality: How can you contribute to your church with your gifts?
The most destructive temprament combination in a marriage for a weaker vessel is to find out that your husband is a narcissist.
Apparently narcissists almost never change, so in time the HSP may have to leave him to save herself.
Dr David E. Clarke is a specialist in helping wives with this oppression.
I’m definitely a HSP. I grew up in a Christian home where (even though my parents weren’t perfect) they never made me feel as though something was wrong with me for being sensitive. I have been more hurt as an adult by godly friends and church leaders. I’ve been told that “sometimes I make it really hard to be my friend”, that I’m manipulative, need to get over it and countless other things. I love people so hard and it makes these comments feel very cutting. Thank you for telling me there’s nothing wrong with me. My husband is so sweet and wonderful but it feels like even my closest friends would rather not deal with me. It’s a terrible feeling to have from believers.
Thank you for this post! I am very sensitive and feel things deeply and most of my live thought that there was something wrong with me that needed to be changed.
May God keep using you to encourage others.
Thank you so much for your words. They are healing to my soul. I’ve been a highly sensitive person for a long time. I feel God’s love so much more than I could ever express. I’ve been misunderstood by my sensitivities and felt I needed to change me because something’s wrong with me. I am realizing God keeps telling me that I’ve been fearfully and wonderfully made. I keep hearing this resonating in my spirit for months now. I understand when you have the words to explain it all. Thank you so much. Your words of encouragement and hope are a spring in the desert to me today. I pray that I can grow from the hurts of others that have wanted me to isolate. I feel like a beacon of light to the world because God’s love is so expressive in my heart and that I need to keep shining my light. God bless you!