Livia tends towards anxiety. She seems to be a chronic worrier. Sometimes, when there’s no cause for anxiety, she makes something up to entertain anxious thoughts. She feels anxious when her husband is five minutes late as she imagines him being involved in a terrible accident. If Livia’s son coughs, she worries this could be the start of a severe illness. She fears that something bad might happen at any minute.
Even though Livia is a fictional character, she reminds me of myself a couple of years ago (Read more about my struggle with anxious thoughts: How God changed me).
Anyhow, when I was younger, I worried that I‘d never find a husband. I feared that God had marriage in mind for everyone but me. I feared that I‘d never pass the exam to go and study Theology. I worried that I’d never get healed from my chronic illness. I could fill line after line with examples. And now that God turned everything around, my mind sometimes invents things to be anxious about. Isn’t that sort of funny? Well, maybe it’s just ridiculous.
Years ago, I used to worry excessively. Today, I worry now and then. But now I know how to stop dwelling on anxious thoughts and how to get out of that vicious cycle. We can’t prevent fearful thoughts from crossing our minds, but we can learn to deal with them accordingly. The more we unmask and pray about them, the fewer they enter our consciousness. Most people who tend to fixate on things and get anxious about them are doing it out of habit. We worry because we’re used to worrying, maybe for decades. It is a thought pattern that our mind is comfortable to entertain.
But the Bible tells us to take every thought captive:
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2. Corinthians 10:5
In the following paragraphs, I’m going to share with you what has been working for me to stop anxious thoughts. I hope that some of those tips help soothe your anxiety as well.
I found that one of the greatest weapons to deal with anxiety is to confront it with reality. Take your anxious thought and stay there for a while. I know this is hard at first because it is exactly what you don’t want to do, right? If you rationally confront your anxiety and determine how likely the imagined event will happen, you’ll notice the absurdity of your thought. Impose questions that challenge your beliefs. You’ll see that it loses its power when confronted with reality. Ask God to help you examine your anxious thought patterns – he‘s more than happy to guide you. Pray for insight and revelation to align your thoughts with the truth.
Another great way to calm anxiety is to meditate on Bible verses. Which ones should you read exactly? I collected my favorites in a list in another blog post: 15 Bible verses to calm fear and anxiety
Talk to a trusted friend. Share your fears and worries with someone you’re close to. Sometimes our anxious thoughts prevent us from analyzing our situation objectively. All we see are those threatening things that could happen. Talk to someone who can help you think more clearly and realistically.
Know this: Most of the things you’re worrying about will never actually happen. Most of your fears and worries only exist in your imagination. You may recall events you previously worried about that weren’t too bad after all. That presentation, meeting, travel, or whatever kept you awake at night, turned out to be just fine. Countless things you imagined could go wrong, didn’t go wrong. You worried in vain.
The scenarios that occupy our minds about what might happen make us suffer for no reason. While you’re imagining what could happen, you’re feeling the pain and anxiety takes over your mind and heart. Out of fear you make unwise choices with inconvenient consequences. God doesn’t want you to suffer because of things that will probably never happen. Why do you cause yourself all this pain by letting your mind wander to the what-ifs?
Yes, pain and suffering are part of life. There are times when unfortunate events happen by surprise. I know, we don’t want to hear or accept it. But neither worry nor fear won’t change your situation. They don’t improve your circumstances but will cause you even more distress. No matter how much you worry about your future, things will probably turn out completely different than you expected.
The best thing you can do today is to spend time with God. Because the more you’re rooted in prayer and stand firm on your relationship with God, the better you’re prepared to face what comes at you. What you’ve really got is this moment. And right now, God is present. Why not take a moment to look at what God is currently doing? Pray and ask him for insight into your circumstances and perspective for your day.
The future will always be uncertain since you’ll never know what’s going to happen. Accept that good and bad things are part of life and that God is with you whatever might happen. Focus on what God is doing in your life right now and your tasks at any given moment.
So, how do I actually stop an anxious thought? Here’s a simple example of a typical anxious thought crossing my mind: I fear that my daughter could fall down the staircase and hurt herself badly. First, I confront that fear with reality: How likely is this to happen right now? At the moment, we’re sitting on the floor playing in her room and there’s no stair. It’s a very unlikely event. I usually stop right there and return to the task at hand.
But if the anxious thought returns, here’s my thought process: When we walk to the nearest staircase, it is my responsibility as her mother to make sure she learns how to climb the stairs safely. Next time when we walk the stairs, I’ll be there to teach and help her.
I pray that he protects her and that he gives me wisdom to help her learn to climb the stairs safely. I decide to watch out for her as good as I can but at the same time, I know that I can’t control everything. I remind myself that worrying is a waste of time since it only steals the beauty of the present moment. Then, I refocus my attention on what I’ve been doing and the task at hand; playing with my daughter.
If you don’t actively deal with your anxious thoughts, you’ll never get rid of them. Practicing new ways of thinking as the Bible teaches us (Romans 12:1-2) may feel unnatural at first because you’re not used to it. Keep going and the uncomfortable feelings will vanish.
It is an active fight, an ongoing struggle to win the war in our minds. But the more we do it, the more we actively engage in good thoughts, the easier it gets.
Let me know in the comments: What helps you stop anxious thoughts?
Read more on the topic of worry and anxiety:
15 Bible verses to calm fear and anxiety
What it means to give up control
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6 replies on “How I stop anxious thoughts”
The next step is to ask yourself whether your thoughts are helpful or unhelpful. Look at what you’re saying to yourself. Does the evidence support your negative thought? Some of your self-talk may be true. Or it may be partly true but exaggerated.
I love that tip! Thank you for sharing 😊
By reading Bible and Praying help me to stop anxiety thoughts
Oh yes! Great choice. 😊
Love this, Madeleine! You’ve addressed this so well and pointed to God and His Word (as always)! One more question might be something like, “What would God say about this thought I’m thinking?” That always directs me back to His Word, too. Thanks so much for sharing your insights and wisdom on this topic!
Thanks, Abi. I love the question “What would God say about this thought I’m thinking?”