What marriage is teaching me

Before I met my husband, I read many books, blogs and listened to sermons about how to build a godly marriage. Those Christian couples were talking about challenges and obstacles they barely overcame.

There I was, a 20-year old, peace-loving woman who was just looking for a husband to chase after God’s kingdom and His vision for us together. And all I was hearing about was how many more burdens and obstacles a relationship will bring into my life. I didn’t want my future marriage to look like that! It was at that moment I decided that this won’t happen to me. So I started praying for my future husband and God birthed in me an unshakable commitment to work on my marriage to come.

And then – I met him, Darius! We dated and got married after 2.5 years. Before our wedding day, people told me that the first year would be the hardest. After our first year, I thought: “This wasn’t bad at all. God had our back.” Then I heard preachers talking about how everything is red-tinted glasses during the first year; but wait until the second year comes!

No, we are married for 2 years and it hasn’t been so bad. In fact, we are still laughing with each other, a lot. A few weeks ago, I decided not to listen to all those people telling me about how hard marriage is. I don’t care if they talk about the struggles they had in their fourth year, after their first kid, after the kids are grown up and so forth. All I know is that I work every day on our relationship to make it godlier. Every morning I pray for Darius and our marriage, that God may build his kingdom in our relationship and teach me to become a godlier wife.

One thing marriage is teaching me is not to listen to all this negativity. It is so discouraging to hear about everything that can go wrong, but instead, I’m learning to focus more on what will go right and what God is about to do in our life.

During the past few years of our relationship, I went through my days thinking, “Well, the hard times lay before us. We are just lucky now.” No, I’m not entertaining this kind of thoughts! The best is yet to come! And I know that whatever may come our way, I trust God. He will finish the good work He started in us.

The biggest and most important lesson marriage is teaching me is that all good things come from God. My husband and I love each other because God loved us first, as 1. John 4:19 says:

We love because he first loved us.

Because He heals us, renews us every day, forgives and guides us, we are able to have a happy marriage. It’s all God. We intentionally invited God into our relationship and He began to heal, restore and love me through my husband. Through Him, the Lord showed me what love is.

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another one. Proverbs 27:17

Wounds of my past healed, wrong attitudes disappeared and my emotions started to balance. Through my husband, God showed me that there is another way to handle things—a better, godlier way. I’ve learned to be open to sense God speaking and working through my spouse to heal me.

This also leads me to my next point, when I realized that my man isn’t the most important thing in my life. It’s God, always has been, and always will be. It’s only because of God I met Darius. God is the one who is growing my spouse into my absolute dream man. He’s the one who makes our relationship work. In the end, it’s all God!

I’m not saying that my marriage is perfect, but it is very blessed. We are able to live a godly marriage because we let Him into every area of our lives. From the beginning, we built our relationship around Him and strengthen it through daily prayer time together. We trust God with our needs, go to Him with every problem and try to put His kingdom first.

In the end, all good things come from God!

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