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When you don’t fit in

When I was younger, my dream was to be successful by the world’s standards. I wanted to be a tough businesswoman that would work long hours and climb the corporate ladder. I planned on studying communications and marketing to work at a big company and wear business clothing every day. I dreamed about making it to the top against all odds. 

I was in my late teens at that time and I did an apprenticeship in an insurance company. Even though working there was fine for that season, something felt off. I never had this feeling of belonging in the corporate world. I thought it was my fault and I just had to change myself to fit in more. 

If only I learned how to network better. If I just worked harder. If I was more extroverted…

I wanted to fit in so badly, but it didn’t work. Today I know, that it wasn’t my fault. Through that experience God showed me that it just wasn’t my lane. He had a different road prepared for me.

Even though I still admire strong women in business, pursuing a career in the corporate world isn’t at all what I’m doing right now. God has always known me better and created me for a specific purpose. In the beginning, it was hard for me to realize that I don’t have a forceful and loud personality. I’m more soft-spoken, introverted, and calm rather than dominant. 

Since I’m also highly sensitive, I’m very empathetic. I love people and I delight in helping them grow closer to God. Coaching, sharing biblical insights, and encouraging others are what I’m doing right now. My passions are studying the Bible, writing, and just connecting with my heavenly Father on a deeper level. 

As God began to show me my strengths, gifts, and unique personality traits, I started embracing who he created me to be. I’ve learned about my identity in him as a dearly loved child and started loving myself as well. God revealed to me what we wanted to do with my life, and it wouldn’t involve a career in business. 

You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand. Psalm 16:11

Today, I embrace my quiet nature. God healed my heart. I see how wonderful he made me and I’m living out my strengths and the gifts he has given me. It was a process but today, I don’t want to be that tough businesswoman anymore. I want to be a strong woman for God. 

Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8

I realize now that his plans are much better than ours. He formed us for a purpose and the only way to be truly happy and fulfilled is by walking in that purpose. As we embrace who we are and his plans for our lives, we begin to thrive.

There’s no better feeling than doing exactly what God has called you to do! 

If you want to be fulfilled, get to know God more and through him, learn about your gifts and strengths. Ask God how you should use them for his glory. Submit your ways to him and pray for his will to happen in everything. Ask him to reveal his plans for your life.

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