A couple of years ago, at our first meeting, my mentor asked me: „Are you highly sensitive?“ To be honest with you, that question triggered me. I thought she assumed I’d be very emotional, get upset easily, and that I’d cry a lot.
I responded: „Well, I might be sensitive, but not HIGHLY sensitive.“ I’ve always known that I’m a bit more sensitive than others but not to the extreme. As a kid, I was sometimes told to ’toughen up’.
She explained to me what she actually meant with the term „Highly sensitive person“: These people process information more deeply and are aware of subtleties. They have a complex inner life and get overwhelmed by external (noise, light, etc.) and internal (hunger, pain, etc.) stimuli quite easily. Almost 20 years ago, researcher Dr. Elain Aron found this natural trait in 15-20% of the population.
At this point, I’d like to tell you that this blog post is a bit different than my usual content. The Holy Spirit put it heavily on my heart to use this platform to educate people about this topic. That’s why I’m using this post to share what I know about the HSP (highly sensitive person) and some of my personal experiences.
Let’s look at some characteristics of a highly sensitive person. I copied this checklist directly from Dr. Elain Aron’s website:
-Are you easily overwhelmed by such things as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens nearby?
-Do you get rattled when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time?
-Do you make a point of avoiding violent movies and TV shows?
-Do you need to withdraw during busy days, into bed or a darkened room or some other place where you can have privacy and relief from the situation?
-Do you notice or enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art?
-Do you have a rich and complex inner life?
-When you were a child, did your parents or teachers see you as sensitive or shy?
After my mentor described the characteristics of a highly sensitive person, it made a lot of sense to me. I did my own research online and read some books. It hit home since it explained why I’ve been dealing with certain things since my childhood. I get overwhelmed pretty quickly by loud noise. I often see subtle changes in body language when people are communicating, that no one else seems to notice. After spending a few hours with a group of people, I need to withdraw to recharge. I usually avoid participating in after church activities, since the service already overwhelmed my senses.
I always thought to myself „What is wrong with me? Why can’t I keep up with others? Why does stress affect me that much? Why don’t other people feel the pain of loud noises?“ These questions were in my heart for years. I always tried to push my limits and to keep up with an overwhelmingly full schedule.
Talking to my mentor, who is a remarkable woman of faith, was such a relief for me. She helped me to make peace with this trait and to slow down my pace. I’ve learned that HSP are very empathetic, since they can feel the emotions of others. They often “see” what is going on in other people’s hearts (it’s like „reading between the lines“). HSP are usually creative and have an eye for detail.
So, why the urgency of sharing this topic? There are many people out there who feel the same way as I did. You may have a child who gets overwhelmed very easily. I myself am a mother to a highly sensitive girl. And I know her need for rest and why she gets affected quickly by stimuli.
Especially in churches, there are many people with this trait. They know that they are somehow different than other people, since they get overwhelmed pretty easily by lots of stimuli. Others have a parent, a child, some other family member, or a close friend who is highly sensitive. They need to hear that they are not ‚too weak‘ or ‚weird‘, as they often feel like, but uniquely created by God to share their gifts.
If you are a highly sensitive person yourself, please do your own research and ask God to reveal this unique trait to you. Pray that he helps you to use your gift to advance his kingdom. Ask him for wisdom to structure your day in a way that you won’t get overwhelmed. If you have a relative or a friend who might be a HSP, please talk to them about that. They have probably been wondering all of their lives why they are so different from others.
Don’t hesitate to let me know in the comments if you’ve heard of Highly Sensitive People before, or if you have any further questions. You are also invited to add some more information about HSP and your own experiences as well.
Read more:
Christianity is not about getting to heaven
How God vindicated my reputation
10 prayers for godly friendships
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23 replies on “The highly sensitive person”
I have often said this in the past about myself but didn’t know it was an actual thing. A Dr I had briefly said once “you are probably just highly sensitive” and went on to the things that were “important”. This is huge to know it’s an actual thing. I am everything you described. I get so overwhelmed with smells, most candles, perfumes, household cleaners give me an instant headache and make me nauseous!. I have four kids and I wish I knew this before, I would get upset often and loud noises such as their whistleing. My husband does not like me to watch the news or read stories because when I do I am affected so badly as if the people I am reading about are my own personal friends or family. Honestly up until now, I thought something was wrong with me, this has affected my marriage, and other family relationships I have. My list would go on to long If I kept writing.
Thank you so much for your comment. I’m very glad that you found out that you’re highly sensitive. It’s very freeing to know that you’re not ‘wrong’ but just different. And I know exactly what you mean with the news – that’s the reason why I stopped watching the daily news altogether.
Can I call this highly sensitive.i am a kind of person that easily know if someone around me(friends and family)are passing through problem or hard time,they might not tell anyone but mere looking at their eyes or mood I will know and my guess will be correct and I will try as much as possible to drag myself into it and make sure they’re happy.But after the whole scenerio some even repay me with evil or hurt.What can I do?
Thank you so much for your comment. First of all: This can be part of being a HSP. Do you have some of the other characteristics I listed as well? About your question: Why are you doing it? Why do you let yourself get dragged in and make sure that they’re happy? If I were you, I’d bring it before God and pray about it. Ask him to reveal to you the motives of your heart and work through whatever God brings to the surface.
Thank you Jesus for this confirmation i always prayed and asked God to make me like a normal human being cause i felt diffrent but now i know im gifted i repent Lord Jesus for asking you to turn me into a normal person im sorry Lord Jesus
I know exactly what you mean. But I’m glad God showed you that it’s a gift.
Thank you for your blog! I have an extroverted HSC and made the mistake of allowing others to label him and make him feel ashamed for who God has made him to be. I found that I am also a HSP but had taught myself to desensitize myself to avoid the labels and thus did not know how to support my 9-yr old boy. In this modern era of calling everything that is different a disorder, it is a shame that our Christian community has not been able to differentiate. Thank you so much!
Thank you for posting this! I am definitely a HSP! I can relate when you said that you felt different from others! Now I know to not only be self-aware, but also be aware of others who are going through the same thing!
Hey Abby. I’m glad you can relate. And I believe there are a lot of people out there who feel different as well and are still looking for answers. Let’s educate them 🥰
I don’t know if I am HSP but these are the traits I have noticed
I will rather read an insightful or inspirational book than go to a noisy hyper environment.
I value peace of mind and quietness.
I have been called selfish, proud and a snob because I always refuse to be part of a toxic situation. Instead of explaining my point of view in a toxic violent situation, I always exit the scene. This usually don’t help much because the other party exaggerates my involvement and I get blamed for what I didn’t do.
Most times hearing people chap for an extended period of time tunes me off completely, I usually tell friends and family to think about a solution instead of talking about the problem.
I can ‘sense’ a depressed person that’s 10 meters away even when he/she is lively and pretending to be okay.
I am so in touch with my thoughts that I have more conversations in my head than in real life.
People esp strangers feel comfortable sharing their struggles with me, they usually say they see me like someone they can open up to.
This is really interesting. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! I think you’re an introvert, right?
It might be that you’re HSP as well. You value harmony, prefer reading a book than being in a noisy environment, you sometimes ‘see’ what people feel… I’d say you have a few of the traits.
Wow, I really am greatful God used you to reveal this. I totally am a HSP- everything on your list applies to me, many times even as a teen people would judge me to be selfish or self-absorbed. Many thought I was older then the other kids and wanted to be mature whilst my age was very young and like you I thought something must be very wrong although I preferred it that way because it kept me out of many chaotic places. I will do more research on it and surely pray God helps me. Thank you
Hi Mel. I’m so sorry you had to go through these experiences as a teen. This must have been very hard. But I’m glad you found out that you’re a HSP now. Just knowing about these things and seeing them in God’s light helps a lot.
Woow, this is an eye opener. I did not know what especially after a long day I must sit in my room before attending to my family.
You are a blessing sis!
I’m glad that you found out now. It explains so much, doesn’t it? And that you need time for yourself after a long day is totally normal for HSP.
I thank God that i had to read this as it’s actually speaking to me and i always thought that i was weird or mentally sick.
I’m so glad that God used my post to speak to you! And I know what you mean. A lot of HSP thought they were weird before they knew that they were highly sensitive.
Well I thought I was a highly sensitive person but reading these characteristics I do not believe this describes me.. I guess I need to do some more research to find out who I am… Thank you for sharing your insights…
Thanks for your comment, Ruthie. I’m glad that you found out a little bit more about yourself. Maybe you’re an introvert? Because a lot of the characteristics of a highly sensitive person apply to introversion as well.
I’m hiding out in a cafe right now on a family trip crying from overwhelm and overstimulation and was led to look up high sensitivity. I deeply feel the hearts of others, mostly grief and shame. I have vivid dreams with future prophesy often. I take in everything throughout the day while surrounded by a family that thinks I’m dramatic and sensitive. Being alone in silence is the only refuge I have. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sending this.
I’m glad you discovered that you’re highly sensitive. Just knowing about your trait lifts a huge burden. Learning how to navigate your sensitivity takes years, maybe even a lifetime.
Hallo Madeleine,
ja ich habe schon von diesem Thema gehört aber es mit deinen Worten nochmal zu lesen hat gibt mir Kraft. Ich bin seit November in einer Kirchengemeinde aktiv und bau dort Kirche mit. Ich liebe die Menschen dort, denn sie sind für mich wie eine Familie geworden, dennoch geht es mir oft wie dir, nach dem Gottesdienst wenn sich viele noch unterhalten möchte ich einfach weg und Ruhe genießen, oft denke ich dann darüber nach warum ich nicht an diesen Gesprächen teilnehemen kann und lieber allein bin.
Danke das du mir mit deinen Worten nochmal die Augen geöffnet hast.
Thomas
Growing up, I’ve always felt “left out”, “excluded” bring referred to as ” weird”. I just couldn’t “fit in”. There are times when I feel I have to “measure up” to people’s “standards”. I have peace because my identity is in Jesus Christ, not in people. I have to be reminded. In the Word of God, there’s a story about a biblical figure who went through the same thing. Jesus asked him…”Whom do you say I am??”. The whole point here is that people don’t define you, it’s what God says that matters. Google the biblical encounter that this man had with Jesus You will be blessed and encouraged. God bless you all!!🙏🙏