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9 tips to overcome envy and jealousy

In this blog post, I’m sharing with you what you can do when you envy somebody else’s life. I’ve dealt with envy and jealousy for many years. But since it robbed me of my inner peace, I was dedicated to fighting against it. Here are my best tips to overcome jealousy and envy:

1. Understand that the grass isn’t greener on the other side. Every person deals with challenges of all kinds; rejection, loss, hurt, mental and physical health problems, relationship issues, etc. What you see on the outside may not be how the person you envy is feeling on the inside. Or you might look at someone who’s in a winning season right now while you’re struggling. All of us go through things at different stages of our lives. Seasons change: 

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. Ecclesiastes 3:1

2. Become busy pursuing own your calling. God has a plan and a purpose for your life. He has given you gifts and talents that you’re supposed to use to advance his kingdom. Are you obeying his lead? Do you serve faithfully where he has placed you? God doesn’t want you to pursue somebody else’s calling. He wants you to focus on YOUR life and YOUR calling. 

When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” John 21:21-22

3. Pray your heart out for the person you envy. Ask God to bless that person abundantly. This may seem counter-intuitive to you, I know. But the Bible says that we should love people and pray for our enemies. Countless times I’ve prayed for people I envied repeatedly and the effect it had on me was priceless. It freed me completely. I stopped envying that person and started loving her more and more and started to truly wish all the best for that person.

4. Name what you envy about that person and pray about it. Whether it is a characteristic, material thing or whatever. Tell God that you’d like to have this certain thing. But also pray that his will be done and that if it’s not his will for your life that he may remove that particular wish from your heart. Ask for forgiveness that you let envy and jealousy take root in your heart. Pray about it and then let it go and trust that God has your best interests at heart.  

5. Pray for a changed heart. Ask God to change your heart. Ask him to overcome every jealousy and envy that’s hindering you from enjoying your life and moving forward.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalm 51:10

6. You can only grow a harvest if you plant and water your field. Focus on your calling and your purpose in life. How could you do what God has called you to do when you focus on what everybody else is doing? You won’t accomplish anything if you’re desiring someone else’s life. 

When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?” Jesus answered, Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

7. Grow your strengths and toss your weaknesses. In school, teachers told you to improve your weak subjects. But actually, you should develop the things you’re good at. Find out what your strengths are and develop them. Improve your skills. You will enjoy working in your strength zones and developing excellence in these areas much more than bringing your weaknesses on an average level. We should rather focus on developing our strengths. 

8. Get to know yourself better. The best way to know who you are is to spend time with your creator. God is the one who made you for a purpose. If you want to know who you are and what you should do on this earth, you must spend time with God. Get to know him more and grow closer to his heart. Ask God to reveal your gifts and talents.

9. Be grateful for what you’ve got. Make a list of all the positive things in your life. Remember what God has already done in your life. Which prayers has he answered? How has he blessed you? Sometimes we’re quick to look at what we don’t have and miss the things we do have. 

I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds. Psalm 9:1

I hope these tips help you to let go of envy and jealousy and embrace God’s good plans for your life. 

Read more:

9 tips to overcome insecurities

10 prayers to overcome insecurities

10 prayers for godly friendships

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