After trying to make relationships happen on my own, I was fed up with it. No matter what I tried, it just didn’t work out. As a newly saved Christian, I gave the pursuit of ‘the one’ completely to God and let him handle it. From that moment on it was a continual practice of letting go and trusting God to lead my future spouse to me at the right time.
During my years of waiting I tried to use my time as wisely as possible. I learnt from my early walk on with Christ that a man won’t meet all my needs and isn’t responsible for my happiness. Only when I’m having a great attitude towards life and a fulfilling relationship with God, am I able to build a healthy connection with my future spouse. That’s why I started working on myself and my relationship with God diligently.
I prayed a lot about my spouse to come. I asked God to prevent any encounter with men that weren’t meant for me to happen. I prayed that he may reveal clearly to me when he introduces the one who he chooses for me. That there won’t be a doubt that he’s the one I’m going to marry. I told God that I didn’t want any more drama and not being sure if the relationship would survive or not. I asked God to be clear and straight forward.
Further, I asked for a sign. I told God that I wanted my husband to have the same calling as I do. With my husband pursuing the same goals, I thought we could share our vision.
I also asked God to give me the desire for a good, godly man. That I wouldn’t pursue any men that seem cool on the outside but are a wreck on the inside. Another key point was my regular prayer that God would form me into the wife I was meant to be. That he shapes my character into a woman that a man wants to be with, before I was even married.
It is important to note that I only knew that my now husband is the one, because I did all the preparatory work: I worked on my relationship with Christ, I learnt to listen to the guidance of the Holy Spirit and I worked hard on myself. Because I prepared myself for the next chapter of my life, God revealed to me very clearly that he’s the one.
So… You’re asking, “How then did you know?” The first time I saw Darius was in a newly formed small group from my old church. We gathered the first time in mid 2013. After the gathering, Darius came up to me and we realized that we have the exact same CV so far (same education, we both traveled to Australia, we were both studying Theology, etc.). Since we had so much to talk about, we grabbed lunch the next week to talk about our experiences.
From the first time I look into his eyes, I knew there was something different. And when we met, things just run smoothly, you know? No drama, no trying to force something that was not meant to be. It was just effortless. During our first time of having lunch we exchanged our visions for our lives. And you know what? He described what he believed to be the call on his life, and I was stunned. It matched perfectly with mine!
He was the one I was waiting and praying for. Not only did God give me the sign I was praying for, I also had peace in my heart. Deep down inside I was calm and knew that God brought us together. Not to mention that he was a believer and bearing good fruit. It was his will and his work alone. From that moment on forward we got to know each other. We diligently started to build our friendship because it is the foundation for every romantic relationship.
After 2.5 years of courtship, he proposed to me. One year later we got married, and this year we celebrated our third wedding anniversary and our first baby. And I’m still 10000% convinced that he is the one.
Just because God brought us together doesn’t mean that there aren’t any obstacles in our relationship. But we don’t need to force anything. On the contrary: We talk through things together and encourage each other in the Lord. We’re pulling on the same side of the robe and don’t go against each other.
Are you in a relationship and don’t know if you should break up with him or not? Then read this.
Are you fed up with being single? Read this
Read more: What marriage is teaching me
Read more: 10 things to pray while pursuing the one
Read more: 10 things to pray over your husband
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